The most exciting thing about campers/RVs/caravans/portable defecation devices/whatever you want to call them is normally their names. Especially when you play the game of putting a profanity in front of them - the Bucanneer Commadore and Unicorn Cabrera are just a few of Top Gear’s favourite.

But if you’re a fan of dragging your holiday home around with you, here’s some proof that it doesn’t have to be an uninspiring white box with some ropey, faded decals. All you need is this awesome custom-built 1983 Chevy C30.

It’s a former SEMA show car and is currently for sale on eBay in Grand Rapids, Michigan. But don’t let that put you off. Because look at it! It’s brown. Not just any brown, brown layered with 70s burnt sienna, copper and gold pin-striping. It’s also slab squared: being slab-sided and slab-stanced thanks to running on airbags and GSI Fab front suspension and Watt’s link rear suspension.

There’s also some brown noise to go along with the brown paint and brown plaid interior courtesy of a 5.3-litre V8 hooked up to a 4L80E 4spd auto transmission. Unfortunately, that’s not brown. But – amazingly – the engine has only ever done 80 miles (est. 128km). 80! The owner must be a fan of staycations. Or well-versed in the ideals of self-isolation.

Inside it has all the amenities you’d ever desire: running water, a proper bog, a sink fashioned from a vintage Coca-Cola fridge and a custom Whiskey barrel subwoofer.

Now that sounds like a party. Plus, it’s finished in more brown contrasted with brown wood. Because when you’re browning out with the boys, you want the furniture to match your state of drunkenness.

As we said, it’s up for sale and bidding ends soon. Currently, it’s up at over $100k, which is a little more expensive than a Bucanneer Commadore or Unicorn Cabrera. But if you want to look cool at Centre Parcs when this COVID-19 cloud blows over, there may be nothing better.

STORY Rowan Horncastle