Oi, you. Yeah, you lot. Audi, Bentley, Lamborghini, Aston Martin. You there, with your 500-600hp super-SUVs. Porsche wants a word with you.
It seems our pals in Stuttgart are a trifle upset that everyone’s forgotten it was they – not their Bentley or Lamborghini cousins, nor the likes of Aston Martin, Land Rover or Rolls-Royce – who made the OG super-SUV. The Cayenne Turbo, way back in 2002.
And what do you expect Stuttgart to do about that? Sit back and watch while its VW Group stablemates and suave rivals swarm around to carve up its kingdom? Nein. Porsche’s got angry, and built a hyper-Cayenne.
Welcome to the new Cayenne Turbo GT. Look, it’s got an Alcantara steering wheel with a yellow blob at the top. You know it means business.
Available exclusively in chopped-roof four-seat ‘Coupe’ flavour, the Turbo GT isn’t quite as powerful as the semi-electric Cayenne Turbo S e-Hybrid, but it’s got 640hp of 4.0-litre bi-turbo V8 fury and no batteries to lug around or charge up, so who’s counting?
Torque is up from a Cayenne Turbo’s pathetic 770Nm to a respectable 850Nm. Porsche casually mentions the eight-speed automatic gearbox has been ‘uprated’ in response to this mighty power. We presume this means ‘it’s now made out of diamonds’.
The V8 itself is more than a remapped boost monster: it’s been treated to new pistons, rods, crankshaft, and even a burlier timing chain. It breathes out of a bespoke titanium centre-exit exhaust with less muffling than a standard Cayenne. Grrrr, et cetera.
How fast? Very fast. Despite the carbon roof and lightweight exhaust, the Turbo GT ain’t going to be a feather, but it still goes from 0-100km/h in a daft 3.3 seconds. That’s 0.6secs quicker than a Cayenne Turbo. Flat out, it’s good for a nice, round 300km/h.
Sure, the Urus and Bentayga Speed are a handful of kilometres an hour quicker, but again, who’s really counting? This twin-turbo elephant seal will out-accelerate a 911 GT3 manual and it’s just set a new SUV lap record around the Nürburgring of 7mins 38.9 seconds… which is basically as quick as a Ferrari 458 Italia.
That daft pace is thanks to geeky mods like dampers that are 15 per cent stiffer, retuned steering for both the front and rear axles, gnarlier anti-roll software and revamped torque-shuffling differentials. Porsche even reckons the XXL carbonfibre aero kit adds 40kg of downforce at v-max. Good to know.
Brakes, we’re relieved to hear, are carbon-ceramic giants as standard. They live behind 22-inch rims clothed in wider tyres.
Inside, you get Porsche’s latest and greatest infotainment screen and more contrast cotton thread that you can shake an episode of The Great British Cross Stitch Death Match at.
In Singapore, all of this is yours for S$813,688 before COE and options, with the Turbo S E-Hybrid starting at S$732k before COE and options.
Okay, it’s S$184k more than a Cayenne Turbo Coupe which is hardly slow and unluxurious, but who’s going to be seen in one of those slowcoaches now the daddy of OTT-SUVs is back?
STORY Ollie Kew